Friday 3 February 2012

Anger Management - just starve them into submission








The scandal of the Romanian orphanages has faded quickly from public memory - less than 15 years ago, many children were tied to their beds so their limbs grew back to front.  They were fed every 3 days so they learned to grab as much food as possible - scoff it quickly, sick it up and then slowly eat it to make it last.  But worst of all, no-one in the large institutions created any trace of an attachment relationship.  They were left for days on end with no touch or verbal communication.

I now work with many of these orphans who are in their teens and twenties, who ran away at 7 or 8 years old, after years of physical, emotional and often sexual abuse.  They fended for themselves: begging, sleeping rough on railway stations, in abandoned cars.  Many people are trying to 'settle' them in hostels or half-way homes and help them to find unskilled work in the hope that they will avoid petty crime.  However it is very frustrating for staff when many of these young people choose to stay on the streets rather than risk yet again the possibility of abuse.  We have started training volunteers in the principles of attachment and the importance of a trusting  relationship.  It is slow work, especially when grown-ups behave like 3 year-olds!

Today's news tell us that it is -40 in many parts of Romania, even the sea is freezing!  People are dying of hypothermia and farms and villages are cut off without heating and food.  Last week saw riots in the Romanian capital Bucharest  because of the increasing austerity measures and high unemployment.  Warmth of all kinds is needed for this very damaged, but oh so beautiful country.

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