Monday 12 March 2012

Five Best Ways to Play with Children with Difficulties




I have just read a fabulous new book - Dennis McCarthy A Manual of Dynamic Play Therapy (Jessica Kingsley 2012). The sub-title really gives the clue: 'Helping Things Fall Apart, The Paradox of Play'. 

McCarthy emphasises the safe exploration through imagery and symbols of the child's often turbulant issues, especially aggression.  As a very experienced play therapist he points out:

 'Play is both and act of creativity and discovery.  This can allow the residual effects of the trauma in their bodies and psyches to resolve in the very same play.  Of course this will not happen quickly, but that it will happen at all is astonishing.  What gets depicted needs to be tolerated by us and not "made nice" or interpreted.'

This last point is so important as it is easy to think we know what is going on!  Most of the time we don't - we need to be an engaged and focussed witness.

1.  Many children need time to play in their own way and not directed into what we think they should play.

2.  Many children are helped by the opportunity to play in messy ways: wet sand, wet clay, sloppy jelly, mud-pies, water play...

3.  Many children need an adult to set the limits especially of time and space: acknowledging when it will be time to stop; establishing that messy play is fine in the play-room (or bathroom or garden) but not just anywhere

4.  Many children need an active adult to read stories that engage the child; stories that have straigh forward themes and structures where the outcome is fair.

5.  Many children need reassurance in a life that can be overwhelming with changes and lack of clarity about their future; just being that presence that has time can be very helpful

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