Five Great Ideas for Working with the 'Victim-Aggressor-Rescuer' Triangle

Triangulated relationships are very difficult to change as so often the participants have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.  We can observe 'victim-aggressor' relationship in families, the work place, the social setting such as the gym.  Therapists, counsellors and social workers are all prone to try and play the role of the rescuer, and may identify with the victim because of their own victim experience.  Ironically it is easier to identify with the victim role rather than admit we have played the aggressor.  However much we feel empathy for the victim, it is essential that we stay neutral if the possibility of change is to happen.

1) Try working in groups doing pair work of 'victim-aggressor': one person says 'You must' - the other says 'I can't'; let the dynamic evolve and lead to a conclusion.  Change round so both people experience both roles.

2) Repeat the idea in (1) but this time it is non-verbal - use gesture to convey 'You must-I can't' and experiment with using the whole body with very exaggerated movement.

3) Repeat the task again, but this time it is very subtle: small movements, a look, a status position, an expression.

4)  Create a 'body-sculpt' of 'victim-aggressor' and invite all members of the group to share which of the sculpts affected them most.

After the exercises 1 - 4, invite people to share any feelings that have been produced - do they link to body memories?  What part of the body are they located in?  Finish with a deep relaxation exercise for people to let go of any tensions.  Use these exercises as a warm up for the story in 5). 

5)  Explore all the roles in the ancient story of 'Theseus and the Minotaur'; how Theseus goes to slay the Minotaur and is helped by Ariadne who gives him a sword and a ball of string.  After Theseus has slain the Minotaur, he goes away with Ariadne and creates a new life.  Eventually he abandons her and she is rescued by Poseidon and is turned into a constellation of 5 stars, (see Introduction to Dramatherapy, 1998 JKP).  We can see in this ancient tale how all the three main characters all play variations of the triangulated 'Victim-Aggressor-Rescuer' roles.

(more to come on this theme)